


The Memory I Want to Forget

by GhostOfAFern



Series: The CEO of pegoryugoro is here to feed you [3]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Psychological Trauma, i dont write that shit, no actual rape scenes though, so like huge trigger warning, theres no actual scenes but they discuss what happened to akechi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:01:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23905843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostOfAFern/pseuds/GhostOfAFern
Summary: Goro awakes in the middle of the night from a dream about his history of sexual abuse. Akira and Ryuji want to do their best to comfort him, but the situation is delicate, and Goro has never been good at articulating what he needs.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira/Sakamoto Ryuji, Akechi Goro/Sakamoto Ryuji, Kurusu Akira/Sakamoto Ryuji
Series: The CEO of pegoryugoro is here to feed you [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1717375
Comments: 3
Kudos: 117





	The Memory I Want to Forget

**Author's Note:**

> HUGE WARNING  
> IF YOU DID NOT READ THE TAGS
> 
> this is a story discussing sexual abuse. there are no scenes of it happening, and there are no descriptions of the act taking place, but there is discussion of the trauma that it resulted in. please read with caution

Books lined up on a bookshelf. The silent ticking of a clock. The faint sound of the bustling city outside.

This wasn’t the first time Goro found himself in some random politician’s home. He had gone through hundreds of shitty people in his life. It was a necessary step in getting close enough to Shido for his plan to work. He’d lost count of how many he’d... _ met. He didn’t want to remember any of them.  _

The strange part was, he didn’t remember why he was here. He had no reason to be here. He didn’t  _ want _ to see Shido ever again.  _ Why was he here? _

“I’m starting to really consider giving you a letter of recommendation, Akechi-kun” The man hissed, as he walked up behind him. “In fact...I’ve heard great things about you from my cohorts.” The man placed his hands on Goro’s shoulders.

His blood ran cold, and beads of sweat formed on his forehead.  _ No. This can’t be happening again.  _

“If what they say about you is true...I’ll definitely introduce you…”

Goro jerked awake, panting loudly, wrestling out of the arms wrapped around him and practically falling out of bed. 

“...Goro…?” Akira asked sleepily. “What...happened?”

Goro caught his breath, sitting up on the side of the bed and rubbing the bridge of his nose. Akira sat up gently, trying not to wake Ryuji as he slipped out of his embrace.

“I...just had a bad dream is all.” He explained, shaking his head.

“ _ Just _ a bad dream, Goro? Jesus, you nearly fell on the floor, what were you dreaming about?”

He hesitated. Akira and Ryuji knew about his past. He had spoken briefly about his history of nights with strange men. He had chuckled as he cried, saying he “followed in his mother’s footsteps in the path to follow in his father’s.”

“It was…” Goro started. Akira placed a hand on Goro’s shoulder, causing him to flinch violently, and he pulled his hand away like he’d touched a stovetop.

“Sorry…” Akira offered.

“No, it’s fine...you didn’t know…” He stammered. In fact, Akira  _ still _ didn’t know. “I had a dream about...a long time ago.” He tried to explain without crying, blinking rapidly. “A man in an apartment...and...he put his hands on my shoulders and I…” he covered his face to hide the tears he failed to suppress. Akira had seen him cry before, but he still hated anyone seeing him show a sign of weakness.

“Do you...know what would happen next?” He choked out, trying to avoid saying the words that could kill him.

“Oh…” Akira stared directionless, not quite sure how to handle this sort of situation. “Yeah. Yeah, I know what you’re getting at. You don’t have to keep going.”

“But I want to!” Goro snapped. “I...I’m sorry. I just...I want to talk about it. I need to. I just...I’ve never told anyone until you two and I…”

“...Hnngh….what are you guys talking about?” Ryuji asked groggily before yawning. 

“Oh...I didn’t mean to wake you Ryuji...sorry.” Goro apologized.

“Huh? Woah, are you crying? What’s goin on?” Ryuji scooted over to sit beside them.

“Goro had a rough dream.” Akira explained. “It was about-” Goro placed his finger on Akira’s mouth.

“It’s okay. I can say it.” He turned towards Ryuji. “I had a dream about...one of the...politicians that…” He paused to think of the right word.  _ Raped? No, that’s a really strong word. Molested? God, that somehow feels stronger.  _ “Assaulted me...?” He said as if still asking if that was the correct way to phrase it. 

“That’s...kind of an understatement, Goro.” Akira said gently.

“Well…” Goro grabbed his arms nervously. “I don’t like using...I don’t like that word. I don’t like saying…” He swallowed the lump in his throat. “I don’t like saying I was  _ raped.  _ Okay? I don’t like using that word. I hate that word. I don’t feel like I deserve to use that word.” He was shaking and crying, but had positioned himself in a way that denied physical comfort.

“I feel like when I hear that word, I think of innocent people who were hurt for no reason. Some shitty person abusing someone who didn’t deserve it...but-”

“Don’t you dare even say it!” Ryuji cut him off.

“Ryuji! Easy!” Akira scolded for the harshness in his voice.

“I know! I’m sorry but-If you say you  _ deserved... _ then I...I don’t even know what! I’m gonna be pissed at everything in the world!” Ryuji had tears in his eyes.

“Ryuji look...I love you, and I appreciate you trying to look out for me, but you can’t in good faith compare me to a woman who is abducted in the streets!” Goro retorted.

“It’s not a goddamn competition of who’s the most hurt! You were...no...you were a  _ kid _ too! Goddamnit Goro! You were raped multiple times! And you think you don’t even deserve ot use that word?!” Ryuji looked at Goro, seeing for the first time in the dark room that tears were spilling down both of their faces. “Oh god…Goro I’m…”

“No. Just...I let it happen every time...I kept going back even though I knew it would happen again and I…” Goro furiously wiped the tears off of his face. “I don’t know how to feel okay.”

“It’s  _ okay _ if you don’t feel okay about it, Goro. It was a horrible thing that happened to you. You were used. You were violated. You deserve to feel scared or confused or angry or any way you feel about it. It isn’t your fault that it happened. You have to know that.” Akira consoled. 

“I...I…” Goro sniffled. “I don’t want to be afraid anymore. I never want that to happen again.”

Ryuji and Goro gently placed their hands on Goro’s knees, as not to overwhelm him.

“I’m sorry for dropping all of this on you in the middle of the night.” Goro sighed. Akira and Ryuji offered quiet denials. “Can we please go back to sleep?”

The three returned to where they were laying previously, Ryuji nuzzling into Akira’s neck. Akira went to wrap his arm around Goro, before hesitating. Goro pulled Akira’s hand around him to signify his consent to the action.

“Please...don’t go anywhere…” Goro said, holding Akira’s hand tightly.

“I’m not. I’m right here, Goro.” He pulled Goro close to him.

“You two are the only good thing that’s ever happened to me. I don’t want to lose that.”

Ryuji fought the urge to deny the statement, but gave into exhaustion instead.

“I love you.” Goro whispered.

“I love you too. Always.” Akira reciprocated, kissing the back of his neck.

Goro calmly shut his eyes. When he was younger, nightmares like that would keep him afraid to go back to sleep. But, tonight, with Akira’s arms wrapped around him, he felt safe. The words echoed in his head as he drifted off to sleep.

_ I love you too. Always. _

**Author's Note:**

> so uh...theres akechi's trauma (one of many tbh)
> 
> ill probably do some wholesome feelgood fluff after this, and maybe after that ill do a story about akira's PTSD because id really like to discuss that.


End file.
